• Personal

    Half Gone

    1 November 2014

    The heavy days are almost over.

    This week has been one of, if not, the worst lows I have strug­gled through. Bad things kept unfold­ing non-stop, one after the oth­er, whether it was some­thing relat­ed to uni­ver­si­ty or per­son­al life. The lev­el of tur­moil I had and the amount of effort I need­ed to put into push­ing myself to bat­tle on has made me weary. It felt like a cloud block­ing my mind and a weight drag­ging from my body. Despite pur­pose­ly going to bed at 9 in the evening, I still felt tired and unmo­ti­vat­ed and defeat­ed through­out the next day. I haven’t felt so ter­ri­ble in so long. My anx­i­ety and stress lev­els peaked and left me feel­ing like I was being asphyx­i­at­ed. I am glad, how­ev­er, that those days are almost gone. Half gone.

    It’s been a busy week and will con­tin­ue to be busy until 15/11 which I am look­ing for­ward to. Today I had a court appear­ance assess­ment, which is basi­cal­ly a mock tri­al. I woke at 6:30, got there at 8:15 and wait­ed until 12:20 for my case to begin. I do not under­stand how I wait­ed for so long with­out doing any­thing apart from escap­ing the room for five min­utes to go to the bath­room. The amount of peo­ple who were wait­ing out­side the court rooms at first was so trap­ping, espe­cial­ly because today reached 36 degrees cel­sius and there was basi­cal­ly no air con­di­tion­ing inside and every­one was close to each oth­er. My assess­ment, how­ev­er, went well. The mag­is­trate said I did well so I can only assume I did a good job.

    • Let’s hope things are a lit­tle eas­i­er next week.

      Buck­ets & Spades

    • Sor­ry to hear Jef­frey, those kinds of days are tru­ly the worst, but at least they don’t last for­ev­er! And these col­ors are just beau­ti­ful.

    • The storm will clear up, and things will become more lucid. The days will be gone before you know it. Just keep your chin up and remem­ber what’s in it for the long run. 🙂
      Send­ing well wish­es your way, Jef­frey x

    • Love the Thun­der! I don’t know how open you are to strange astro­log­i­cal ideas but my friend put me onto this lady called Eliz­a­beth Peru on face­book and sur­pris­ing­ly I’ve real­ly loved find­ing the cor­re­la­tion between my moods and astro­log­i­cal hap­pen­ings (of the more sci­en­tif­ic vari­ety). There would be some nights were I would con­stant­ly dream and wake up feel­ing like I hasn’t slept. I nar­rowed it down to occur­ring on full moons but then I found they were hap­pen­ing out­side of full moons too — cue solar flares! My boyfriend jokes at me but seri­ous­ly, I’ll wake up in the morn­ing and know if there has been a solar flare or not based on my sleep. I fol­low Eliz­a­beth Peru on face­book, unfor­tu­nate­ly in the last few months she has trans­ferred most of her con­tent to her paid online newslet­ter but she still posts tid­bits that I always find the cor­re­late pret­ty well with me. Any­way what made me ram­ble in this com­ment, is that Octo­ber was crazy, I think Nasa report­ed the biggest sun spot in 25 years. Even if you think this com­ment is whack, my sen­ti­ment is maybe that you’re not alone 🙂

      • not so good days/weeks are what make the good days so good, i sup­pose.
        things have been quite oppo­site for me late­ly, though i just got over a bout of the same feel­ings you described not too long ago, so i hear you. the off and on tur­bu­lence is per­haps part of being an artist… or just human.
        beau­ti­ful words and pic­tures you’re made.
        -Abi­gail

        • I agree. It’s a part of being human and liv­ing in gen­er­al! Thank you!

      • This inter­est­ed me more than I thought it would have!

    • thank you very much! may I ask which adjuste­ment on your cam­era you used for catch­ing the light­ning? it looks amaz­ing.

    • Jef­frey, your shots are always amaz­ing, that light­en­ing strike is just stun­ning. Regard­ing your mock tri­al, so glad to hear that it went well for you. Weeks like the one you described are excru­ci­at­ing and slow, and almost always seem like they’ll nev­er end. Keep a pos­i­tive out­look and keep trudg­ing on, you’re almost there! The 15th is not that far off. I’m actu­al­ly on my finals week for my cur­rent class, and I’m feel­ing a bit of stress as I am my team project lead, so I have a lot of respon­si­bil­i­ty I’m not enjoy­ing this week. Send­ing good vibes and well wish­es to you! Keep fight­ing Jef­frey, you can do it! <3 ^o^

      • Thank you! Send­ing good wish­es back to you! All the best with your project.

    • Beau­ti­ful pho­tos (I real­ly like the col­ors and tex­tures of your pho­tos). And I hope these tur­bu­lent days go away soon.

      • Thank you! I hope they do too.

      • Nev­er been a fan of rain, most­ly because my dog loves to have loud con­ver­sa­tions with the thun­der — and it isn’t par­tic­u­lar­ly the most calm­ing sound you hear at 4am. How­ev­er, I must point out that I find your pho­tographs so beau­ti­ful. Call me visu­al­ly impaired but I don’t often come across such strik­ing pho­tographs of thun­der clouds online. S’pose I should search for more? 

        Hope you are well as of now Jeff.
        Hugs from the Nec­tarine.

        Oh wait I have no arms.