Green Break­fast

19 June 2017

A guide to mak­ing avo­ca­do toast and matcha lat­tés.

Syd­ney, Aus­tralia

Avocado(n’t even talk to me in the morn­ing) toast

1. Toast bread until it match­es your wood­en floor­boards. I usu­al­ly just shove a loaf of bread in the oven and attend to it when my house smells like it’s about to burn down. So basi­cal­ly just eye­ball it.
2. While your bread is hav­ing a tan, find some ripe avo­ca­dos and beat until gooey. I like to add pesto and lime juice when I’m feel­ing quirky, which is always.
3. Poach an egg. I lit­er­al­ly have an egg poach­ing kit and I still can’t poach eggs. Some­body send help (by way of deliv­er­ing poached eggs).
4. Sprin­kle a ton of pep­per onto your stacked toast to remind your­self how quirky and unpre­dictable you are.

It’s a match(a lat­té)!

1. Pour a tea­spoon of matcha pow­der into your hip­ster mason jar.
2. Add a tea­spoon of con­densed milk (option­al).
3. Add ice cream (option­al, but kind of nec­es­sary).
4. Fill the rest of the cup with milk and ice cubes.

Addi­tion­al steps

1. Sit in your back­yard or some­where idyl­lic to hood­wink your­self into think­ing that you have your life togeth­er.
2. Make use of the soft morn­ing light for your Pin­ter­est af shot.
3. Chug your matcha lat­té in 2 sec­onds because it turned out so much bet­ter than you had antic­i­pat­ed.
4. Take a bite of your now sog­gy avo­ca­do toast.

Some Suggestions